I talked about what pof’s site is like & what I’m looking for, so let’s talk about the journey.
At the start of the journey, there is a setting where you can leave your footprints for the users you have visited know that you have clicked to their profile. I had it set to off from way back. That time, I was just observing to see what kind of people (or girls) are on there without looking like a stalker. Going to the basic search option, set my preferences, & boom! Girls.
I was pretty surprised on the number of girls I got from my requirements. It maybe because that pof is Vancouver-based which is where I’m pretty much am. Or it could be that pof is a very popular dating site. Because I did the basic search, it didn’t narrow down some things such as height or religion. But what kind of girls did I see?
I pretty much saw a lot of different varieties. There are nice girls that seem innocent. Giving out a nice amount of information of what they like & hoping they find the one here. Almost telling people who they are upfront with nothing to hide.
Then there are the ones that seem bitchy. The ones that goes “I am looking for such & such” & “I don’t answer to people that fit my requirements” thing. Then there are ones like that have nothing in their profile, copy & paste the instructions, or say that they will update it in the future. Sometimes without pics as well.
From what I seen, they seems to be an equal balance of different types of girls here. There appears to be new members appearing after a period of time as there are some profiles that I don’t recognize. With a huge database of users (I usually see over 400,000 users online if the counter doesn’t lie), the chances of not getting a hit is pretty low. My results showed over 600 users. That is if there isn’t any frauds or con artists. I personally haven’t see one yet unless it’s the ones without pics or nothing in their profile. Or I don’t know how to spot them.
For the girls that I said who are bitchy, I actually like how these girls take command. They put down on the table what they are looking for & ain’t wasting time or playing games. Straight down to business.
But there are some that are asking for too much. They are asking for their partner to be certain types of celebrities or fictional characters traits which I think is too much. Financial stability, height, appearance, being this & that, etc. I found some of the girl’s requirements to be way too strict. Kind of like stuck up princesses looking for prince charming. It makes you think why they are here in the first place with the assumption that no man wants to touch them for being that strict.
The innocent ones are either unsure of what they want, way too open that can be hard to believe, or being very hopeful to find someone. Can’t tell if some of them are serious in doing online dating or just trying it out like me. It’s like they are grabbing whatever is available somewhat & waiting to see if Mr. Right will come to them. In fact, I tried messaging one that caught my interest. this was back before this experiment started.
I found one girl that didn’t have much info in her profile & seems nice based on her profile. The innocent open type. She looked cute too, which is how she drew me in. So, I sent her a message, but I forgot how & what I wrote in it. I remember something about asking if she wanted to talk in getting to know her more. No creepy stuff or meeting outside right away. Turn me a few days before I pulled the trigger. Result: I got rejected.
Pof reported that she rejected my message. Not sure if it means it got deleted right away & never got read or she read it & deleted it. I think a couple of days later, the user was gone. Probably deleted her account for whatever reason. Could have got fed up with stalkers, found someone, blocked me, or gave up. After that, I never messaged any girl. Not because of the feeling of rejection, but to see if anyone would approach me which is the first test of this experiment.
I did have some girls look into my profile, but it was very little. Not sure if there was more that I couldn’t see because they are invisible. But I did stop using pof for long time & recently got back to it this year.
I continued to do the same thing. Have the girls approach me instead of me going to them, hence why I decided to make this 1st test to be fair. But interesting enough, I did see some users from way back. Not sure how active they are now. I do see some online & some that haven’t been on for at least 30 days.
For the results, I did get some girls looking at my profile. Again, small number & I don’t know if it is accurate. A large percentage of them have no pics. The recent ones don’t fit my requirements. Seeing this, I decided to try speed this up by doing the “true” first test.
I decided to view a small number of user profiles & leave tracks. But I had to find some that would fit my requirements first by looking at their profiles first when being hidden. If I like what I see, I become visible, go to their profile to tell them that I’ve viewed it, & leave. Once I finished that, I go back to invisible. I waited for a few days to see what happens. I selected 5 girls. The results?
They didn’t look at my profile. It could be that they actually have in invisible mode, missed me by mistake, think that I’m a stalker/scammer, or simply didn’t have any interest in me. Or it could simply be because they are currently working out with someone or just waiting for me to do the first contact instead. Whatever it is, I got nothing. I am tempted to contact them to see what happens, but went against it since the first test is to see if anyone will approach me directly first.
After days of doing the first test, I came to these possible conclusions. One possibility is that the girls want to be approached. They don’t want to make the first move because they don’t know how to make the approach or expect the guys to go up to them.
The second possibility is my profile. My profile doesn’t have much there. It’s basically little info about myself. I mentioned how I’m looking for friends there & the possibility of finding my other half in a minor way. Plus, I mentioned about how I have low expectations in getting someone. But the main part was telling people to contact me to know more.
When I first started a long time ago, I did mention about looking for a relationship. But it keep changing around. I did go for causal dating & I didn’t know at the time that it can also mean friends with benefits a bit & that isn’t my intent. Along the way, it went down to find new friends with a hint of finding a relationship. Also, being a short guy at 5’6″ maybe a turn off for them. They are probably looking for tall guys at around 5’9″ or so. But I have been changing it around quite a bit to make it possibly interesting.
The third possibility (which I think is the more likely answer) is my lack of pictures. Although the 5 girls I left my footprints on didn’t mention about the contacting user must have a picture, I feel this is a very important factor. People want to see what you look like in real life. They hope they aren’t being trick by some con artist. Although people would say appearance doesn’t matter as long as the insides count, I’m pretty sure a large chunk of us are guilty about that & do care about a person’s appearance somewhat. Pof did say that putting pics will increase the chances of catching people’s attention & I believe that is true. What makes a first impression is physical appearance. That’s pretty much the make or break deal.
So the first test kind of supports some of my theories about online dating: I got nothing. Leaving tracks by viewing profiles thinking that it would improve my chances of getting noticed didn’t work. Out of 5 girls, no one bothered to look at my profile. This is assuming that the girls didn’t set themselves as invisible. I did have people looking at my profile, but either I didn’t view them first or they don’t meet my ideal requirements.
So the experiment using pof up to this point is a fail. With a large number of users & being a long time member there, I haven’t got a single person contacting me. To me, this is surprisingly disappointing.
The second test for experiment will commerce once I have a good feel that the other dating sites running the 1st test isn’t working. I want to run the 2nd test (if needed) at the same time to be fair.